Saturday, 15 March 2014

Prose Piece ~ Inner Voice

"I decided to write down all the little conversations I had with myself, all the rhymes and whispers, all the songs and curses I uttered from when I opened my eyes to when I closed them, tracing the moonlight across my bedroom wall.

Maybe then I could know myself, inside and out, and every little thing I said…

So I began…

To be a daughter, wife, mother… to be someone… I’m a someone … I’m a maker of quiet things … like secrets, dreams… a maker of love’ ... I whispered to myself one morning when barely out of the grip of sleep.

Nothing is as it seems’ … spoken whilst picking sweet peas

I only want to know of things of beauty… things of joy … colour… purples, reds, greens and silvers’… I wrote down in a flowing script I hardly recognised as my own, it came to me while flicking through old black and white photos of people and gardens, which now only live in my hands.

Many see, few feel … but rarely do we love’ … they were coming fast and heavy, coming forth with an urgent tone.

Can you feel me gently breathing …
do you want something to heart and soul believe in …
I am but a shifting spirit knowing nothing of the past …
Truly answer … which path do you think will last?

I froze to a standstill. This was not my voice, or my distant fraying thoughts. This was someone else who knew me far better than I did myself. This voice was leading me through the maze that was my waking hours. All this time the answers were held within my breath, perhaps within my bones. I spoke this in a tired rush, feeling all the time, as the rhyme fell apart in my hands, that my skin had turned a subtle shade of gold.

I had found a voice of my own at last … and I was amazed to find that it had come from inside of me".

I thought this weird piece of prose deserved some attention! lol 

I love the idea of writing down everything you said or thought in a day, I think we could learn a lot about ourselves, some things we probably wouldn't want to admit to either. I think a lot of people convince themselves they think/feel a certain way and maybe if they sat and were quiet, really listened to themselves they would be surprised. There is the famous saying 'The heart never lies' and there are many times when the body knows what it needs before we do. I also love the imagery and the different set up of this prose...  a conversation... a kind of collection of quotes. It's interesting, I might try writing more in this style :) 

I have nothing to report related to my writing. I am still so busy with the new house, we are tackling the garden now (since the weather has been so lovely for mid March) We are doing a wild garden theme in the back - just loads of flowers, nothing planned, all natural looking. Well that's the plan but symmetry is creeping in, my husband can't help himself, he's a very organised person and where I see natural he sees chaos lol 

Hope the sun shines on you this weekend :)

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